*Disclaimer: This post is heavy and contains a topic that some are uncomfortable talking about. I know my blog is new and this might be a bit much, but my heart leads me to write this, so please be respectful.
Today marks 8 years since my mother passed away.
She took her own life.
She was addicted to pain pills and extremely depressed, and she chose to remove herself from the lives of all who knew her.
I was angry for a long time, and then God took me down my own bizarre path of sorrow and strangeness (which I may delve into another time) in order to show me how she felt, and in turn to show me that I could choose life for myself and learn to love my life in all its ups and downs. I am grateful for that. I really am.
That doesn’t change the fact that I miss her tremendously, and my heart still hurts. It’s not something I’ll ever “get over,” it’s something I deal with everyday and will deal with for the rest of my life.
I am not writing this to invoke a personal pity party. I am writing this to say the following.
Depression happens. To the best of us. It does not make you a bad person or a freak or a screw-up. There is help ALL OVER if you need it. Please choose help. You are NEVER alone.
The Kristin Brooks Hope Center is an excellent resource. You can call 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433) if you need someone to talk to.
Reach out to your friends, your family… to someone. Suicide is not the answer. It wreaks much havoc on the loved ones left behind. And life can really be BEAUTIFUL and REWARDING and full of PROMISE and LOVE.
I love you, Mom. So much. ❤
I’ll be back later with regularly scheduled programming.
EDIT: My friend, Mercedes, mentioned this in the comments, but I wanted to make sure this information was available for all to see.
“I also wanted to share that, if you are in Austin, Capital Area Counseling, Waterloo Counseling and the YWCA all provide sliding scale of free counseling. Capital Area Counseling will see you for as little as $10 a session. I wish more people knew about this stuff and I hope you don’t mind me using your blog as a place to share it.”